The exchanges are tense and it is impossible to discuss without anger, stubbornness, bad faith mingling with the conversation. At this stage you need to make understand your point of view, which is for you the solution, even the only one. The discussion has become impossible, you have 3 possibilities: go to court, go to mediation, flee the relationship.
This forum comes in response to an article on the use of Lakes Mediation Newcastle rather than going to court. I found that clarification could be made to paint a picture of mediation and the professional mediator that allows everyone to know why to grasp it, when to grasp it (when) and for what results. Finally, which professional mediator to choose to obtain the results presented?
Why enter a professional mediator?
The answer seems obvious, when you are in conflict of course, remains to define together what a conflict is. There are several types of disputes, from litigation to conflict to litigation, which determine the professional to whom you must entrust your file.
If it is a dispute (a different interpretation of the contract that binds you, the law in which the relationship evolves) and only a dispute (there is no particular animosity to change in trench warfare) then you can go to a lawyer, the justice or an arbitrator to decide in law a legal discussion.
If it is a dispute (a technical aspect of the contract opposes you, for example the amount of severance pay) and only a dispute (again there is no particular animosity specific to turn into trench warfare), you can negotiate or seek the advice of an expert.
If it is a conflict (that is, a situation where conversations quickly turn into overbidding, who will be the one who speaks the loudest?) In order to have imposed a solution that ‘it deems it legitimate for all, this trench warfare that only ends with the abandonment of the battlefield, resignation or victory over the enemy), then the professional mediation is there to allow you to find a solution .
We are far from the belief that a mediator must master the subject in which the conflict is immersed, a conflict is defined by its majority component (a communication under the yoke of feelings) and not its minority components (the legal and technical aspect of the situation).
Moreover, thanks to this precise definition of the intervention of the professional mediator, it is possible to identify the possible symbiosis with the lawyers and the experts who feed the technical and legal components, if necessary.
When to seize a professional mediator
The answer stems from what was said earlier, when you find yourself unable to trade under conditions that lead to an amicable solution.
This belief that the human is more at the heart of family conflicts is based on the same principle according to which the employees leave their time before the pointer their private life before starting to work. It is the human that is at the heart of conflicts and its communication that is the vector.
That you are ready to seize justice (it is then a conventional mediation, supported by a part of the expenses by your legal protection), during a judicial procedure (the judge invites you to meet a mediator, it is then a judicial mediation, or in parallel of a legal action, it is then a conventional mediation), or at the end of a judicial procedure which settled the dispute but who did not resolve the conflict, the war is again open (conventional mediation) …
The training of the professional mediator makes him a professional in relational quality.
The situations that make it possible to call upon a professional mediator are not defined by the context (patrimonial, professional, family, neighbourhood…) but by the definition of their conflict. The professional mediator allows people who ask questions about this subject during an information interview to weigh the pros and cons and verify that it is the most appropriate option for their situation (justice, arbitration, expertise, mediation)
Whether the two parties agree (ideally and quite rare), or that only one party wants to set up a mediation, the professional mediator is trained to receive mediation support during an interview. individual information, in which the opportunities open to everyone are debated in order to find the right process (justice, arbitration, negotiation, mediation).
For what results expected?
The professional mediator does not judge, does not propose a solution, does not provide advice.
The professional mediator is in charge of allowing people who are no longer able to discuss the definition of a project without making things worse, to do so in a climate of mutual trust, and of involvement in finding their solution. .
A mediator does not provide a solution, it releases the creativity of the participants, allowing them to find solutions that initially they would not have envisaged.
The conflict is the materialization of a degraded relationship between the parties, the professional mediator intervenes on the relationship to allow the parties to listen to each other, to understand each other and to understand each other in order to make a choice about their project.